In Wales, unplugging best way to connect

It took every fiber of my being to keep from pulling out my smartphone and ending the argument.

That, however, is not how arguments end in Wales.

I was in the town of Conwy in northern Wales, and earlier had been walking the ancient fortified walls when it seemed as though everyone was staring at me. It eventually dawned on me that I was the only one wearing earbuds, those tiny white tethers to the music, soundtracks and conversations on our smartphones that had been so ubiquitous in San Francisco.

Not in Wales, though.

So by the time I reached the pub, I had taken them out – and I was suffering from gadget withdrawal. It didn’t improve in the pub, where a group of men and women were speculating wildly about who was singing the song coming out of the pub’s speakers. I could have used any of a half dozen apps on my phone to get the answer – but apparently that would be cheating. I desperately wanted to cheat.

“It’s the Clash I tell you. That’s Joe Strummer’s voice if it’s anyone’s,” said one.

“It’s that American chap with all the veins. Iggy Pop. What’s the name of his group?” another said.

“You’re both wrong. It’s David Bowie going through an Iggy Pop phase,” another was sure.

“Maybe it’s all three of them …”

“Bah! What rubbish!”

“I’m pretty sure it’s ‘Jeepster’ by T-Rex,” I said, deciding to join in. They looked at me for a moment, then went right back to arguing, speculating, doubting, joking and laughing.

It was Jeepster. But I lacked the social currency to convince anyone – and couldn’t “cheat” to prove it.

Then an odd thing happened: The song ended, and the argument died along with it. The group simply moved on to other things. They never got their answer and, more to the point, they didn’t care.

With the advent of the smartphone, and with the Internet always at your fingertips, the answer to any question is within immediate grasp. To me, the idea of not seeking an easy answer to questions seems crazy. I want my curiosity sated within moments.

Yet I was in a Welsh pub, the answer never to be arrived at, and life just rolled right along anyway. It occurred to me that the name of the song was never very important. The important part was the interaction. They reveled in the arguing, the haranguing and the joking – what was being argued about was immaterial.

I looked around the pub and nobody was on a phone. I looked around often; I only needed one person to be on their phone for me to feel it would be OK to pull mine out. In San Francisco, not to use some sort of gadget can seem like a sure sign of dimwittedness or desperate poverty, something to be pitied.

Yet, when I looked around, I saw plenty of communicating going on: People were playing board games and cards, sharing jokes, laughing, talking, breaking into song and poking fun at one another – and suffering no ill effects.

It was real social networking, only with real eyes, smiles and voices instead of avatars and posts.

Eventually, as one pint became two, I joined in. The NBA Finals were being played, but I no longer was desperate to know the score. I was too busy listening to stories. It became clear that, sometimes, the best way to connect is to disconnect.

My vacation came to an end, and it was time to go home. But I wanted to see how long I could maintain this new disconnected philosophy I contracted in Wales. How long could I hold out?

In bits and pieces I found myself reacquiring old habits. The businessman next to me was hard to talk to with the noise canceling over-the-ear headphones he wore. Back in San Francisco, I found myself smiling at people on the street – another unfortunate habit Wales had taught me. But nobody noticed because they were looking down at their phones, often wandering out into traffic like zombies.

I was finally broken when I went to a pub, looked around, and couldn’t find a single person not on their phone. So I joined them. After all, I was in San Francisco, not Wales – you have to respect the local culture.

San Francisco Chronicle: http://www.sfgate.com/travel/departures/article/In-Wales-unplugging-best-way-to-connect-3943913.php