My plane was right there, out the window, only forty feet away. But this was the holidays, and the San Francisco airport hadn’t planned properly, and there was no one to direct the plane the final thirty feet to the gate.

It sat there for forty minutes. Waiting. So close. And my connecting flight out of Los Angeles didn’t care.

So began my holidays. What on paper was supposed to be a simple connection in Los Angeles to Montrose, Colorado became a several day long fuckaroo that only an American airline could come up with.

Once I got on the plane they decided to switch out the black box. And that took some time. An hour actually. So by the time I got to Los Angeles my connecting flight was long gone.

The airline was nice about it. They knew it was their fault and it was their job to get me to my destination. They kindly re-booked me on a flight out of Los Angeles three days later.

Right. One of my rules when it comes to travel is, if you hear something you don’t want to, just ask someone else. They’re all making it up as they go anyway.

So I checked my phone for the next flight to Denver, walked up to the gate, and told them my dilemma. The gate agent pecked comically on that alien keyboard that only airlines seem to have for a long time, hemmed and hawed, made a phone call, and gave me a ticket.

Needless to say by the time I got to Denver I was starving to death. Breakfast was long gone, and my lunch break in Los Angeles never happened.

Luckily, and this is the kind of thing you won’t see in most airports, there was a kiosk in the Denver airport concourse called Climax Jerky. (Disclaimer: I did not name this product) Not too many places where you’ll find a jerky kiosk in an airport. I’m a big fan of jerky, provided it’s not filled with poison. I promptly bought a packet of elk and a packet of buffalo. (Buffalo and bison are the same thing: in the west it’s Buffalo; among foodies it’s Bison. That’s the only difference.)

They came in two varieties. One was moister and more like a really well done steak in a bag. The other was dried out, like actual jerky. I opted for the jerky.

Jerky is very lean, high in protein, low in carbs, and great at preventing public melt downs in airports. Climax Jerky also sold hats and t-shirts, but I like eating jerky, not wearing it.

I stood by on another flight to Montrose, Colorado, drove two hours to Telluride, and got there in fairly good shape at 1:30 in the morning. All of the jerky was long gone. Which is high praise indeed.

You can learn more, and purchase your own, here. 

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