I’m very lucky. I’ve been going to Telluride, Colorado for 36 years now. I go in all four seasons. I love that little Old West box canyon town.
It’s no longer much of a secret though. This year the World Cup was there. All that was missing was snow…Unlike previous years, all of the snow was used for the World Cup and I got to ski over trees and rocks on the 20% of the mountain that was open. The lift tickets, it should be noted, were the same price as if there had been snow. Sigh. They don’t pro-rate lift tickets based on what there is to ski on.
For the first time I can remember, there was no way to ski off the mountain at the end of the day. Instead you had to wait over an hour to ride the chairlift down. So people – me included – found other things to do during the day.
Orvis Hot Springs.
The town of Ridgway is about forty five minutes from Telluride. And there, at Orvis Hot Springs, you can take all of your clothes off, avert your eyes from others who have the bad taste to do the same thing, and soak in the -it has been claimed – healing properties of the hot springs.
There’s also a railroad museum and a restaurant named after the original 1969 version of True Grit that was filmed in Ridgeway. RIdgway is also where all of the Grammy awards are made. By hand. In fact, right now someone is probably hammering away on one for Best Polka Ensemble.
You can take your clothes off here.
Double RL Ranch
Near Ridgway, don’t miss the opportunity to drive along the border of the Double RL ranch simply to marvel at how long you can drive along and see the same expensive fence, mile after mile after mile. It goes on for a seeming eternity. And it’s just one of the borders. The ranch in its entirety is larger – possibly! – than Rhode Island. But then, that’s what you can afford when people are crazy enough to spend $500 for a pair of your “work jeans.”
Telluride Brewing Company
Tucked strategically between the town of Telluride and Mountain Village is a great place to get dramatically drunk. Telluride Brewing Company offers a tasting menu – along with hats and t-shirts and belt buckles and coozies and bumper stickers – of ten delicious types of beer. My favorites are the Face Down Brown–winner of a 2012 World Beer Cup Gold and a gold in the 2012 Great American Beer Festival–and the Smoke Shack Porter. The Double IPA is deadly. I tried all ten of the beers, for research reasons, and forgot my own name for half an hour.
Telluride Truffle
Here’s something you can do when it’s really cold outside, but there’s no snow. You can sit inside, on the couch, and stuff your face with chocolate. I’m not saying I did this, or that I think it’s a good idea; but if I did do this, I would stuff my face with Telluride Truffle.
Snowmobiling
This, obviously, requires snow.
Watch Football
This doesn’t require snow. It requires lots of good bad food and many many televisions. Brown Dog Pizza (R.I.P. Sofios – Oh how I miss you!) is the place. They have Face Down Brown on tap and great Caribbean Jerk Chicken wings. And their pizza is awesome. I spent many hours there.
Hiking
I did this once. It was really hard. There’s no air for one thing. And then you start sweating, and then it freezes and you become both miserably hot and cold at the same time. No matter how good your clothes are supposed to be at “wicking” away moisture. (I loathe the word “wicking” – I’m passionate in my hatred of it.)
Fat Bikes
These are mountain bikes with big fat tires so you don’t slip in the snow and break your spine off. It has similar problems with hiking in that it involves way too much exercise for a vacation. But you’re going to do what you want anyway. So, if you must, here’s where to go.
Mess With Hibernating Black Bears
Colorado has lots of bears. Most of Telluride is on lock down, because the bears get hungry, and Telluride has lots of food. The garbage cans in town are locked up like Fort Knox. They’re out there, somewhere, sleeping away. All you have to do is wander up into the woods and find them and poke them with sticks.
